Bow
by Erun1
Summary: The new girl, Jodie, is bent on getting the entire organization to bow to her. And she will do whatever it takes. Along with her, her 'BESTIE FOHEVAH' wants to meet Pein and Tobi and spend some...quality time with them. CRACK!FIC, yaoi, kinks, funnyness, stupid tortures, OOC, actual tortures, and OCs that cause hilarious chaos. PIC BY NATURELOVER12 ON DA! DON'T OWN ANYTHING.


A/N: FINALLY! Jodie, I DID IT! :D

Warning: torture, possible OOC, crack :3, 2 OCs

Ok, so I know what you wanted, but I feel that a crackfic with some kinks would be best. And I have me in there cause I felt it would be funnier Cx

Summary: The new girl, Jodie, is bent on getting the entire organization to bow to her. And she will do whatever it takes.

Deidara growled obscene words as he stormed down the halls of his least favorite organization.

"TOBI! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, UN?!" Deidara shrieked.

"Woah, Deidara!" Kisame stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

"My clay..i-it's GONE!" Deidara looked close to tears. "My art, un!"

"Your clay is gone?! Samehada's missing, and Itachi is blinded." Kisame frowned. "Is this a coincidence?"

"IT IS NOT A COINKIDINK!" a girly voice shouted, startling both of them.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Hidan had strode down the hall. "Where the fuck is my scythe?!"

"I have taken your most valued possessions!" the girl had a cape on, and was standing upon a rock that Deidara knew wasn't there a day ago. "And now I will rule-" she fell face first and landed flat on the ground.

Hidan blinked then howled with laughter, falling onto the ground. "HAHAHAHAHA! FUCKING BITCH!"

The girl looked up, ready to cry.

"Oh shit!" Kisame growled, glaring at Hidan. "Are you ok?" he pulled her up, just as someone else pushed him down. "WHAT THE HELL?"

The girl who had faceplanted grinned and threw an arm over their newcomer. "Hey, El, what took you so freaking long?"

El rolled her eyes, smiling slightly. "Not all of us have wierdo demonic powers, Jodie."

Jodie pouted, pulling her arm off to cross them both together. "They're not wierdo.. they're.. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALID OCIOUS!"

El rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the stunned members minus Hidan, who was still laughing his ass off. "So, this is the Akatsuki, huh."

"What's it to you, un?" Deidara growled angrily.

"Hey, crankyy!" Jodie tackled him in a hug, sobbing now. "LOVE ME DEIDEI!"

"What the hell is going on here?!" the leader strode down the hallway, barely stopping to glare at Hidan whose ass had really come off and was now bouncing down the hall.

"OMFJ, YOU'RE PEIN-SAMA!" El shrieked, hugging him tightly.

"GET OFF!" he shouted, looking ready to preform Shinra Tensei.

"NWOO! Your Shinra Tensei cannot push away true loovvee!"

"El, stop glomping Pein-sama and tell them why we're heerree." Jodie commanded, still straddling Deidara.

"I'll stop once Tobi removes his mask!" she grinned then nuzzled Pein's cloak.

"The intro?" Jodie pressed, pinning Deidara's arms down as he tried to bite her with his handmouths.

"Right...HELLO FOLKS!" El jumped up, one hand in the air, the other on her hip.

"BE PREPARED!" Jodie struck a similar pose in front of her.

"WE COME FROM OVER THERE!"

"THERE!"

"THERE, THERE!"

"WE LIKE TO RULE!"

"You guys are tools!"

"AND YOUR WORLD IS UP NEXT!"

They both resumed their previous glomping positions.

"Uhh...I think we skipped a line." El frowned, giggling when Pein tried to push her off with a crowbar.

"Really?" Jodie got off of Deidara, ignoring his obscene words and threats.

"DEEIIIIDDAARRAA!" El tackled him now, Pein sighing in relief. "IF YOU DO PEIN ANY TIME SOON, CAN I WATCH?!"

"WHAT THE HELL, UN?!"

"QUIET!" Pein roared, slightly pink from embarrassment. "Who are you and how did you get in?!"

"I'm El!"

"And I'm Jodie!"

"AND WE'RE..."

"Team..Elodie?"

"Team Elodie?! That sounds so stupid!" El whined.

The noise that they had created caused Kakuzu to stick his head out from his room.

"Wha- Leader-sama?" he asked in his creepily deep voice.

"Was your voice always that deep?" Jodie asked, bouncing over.

"Kuzuu, Hidan's ass is shitting on the walls, you need tah sew it back onn!" El giggled.

"Now!" Pein shouted, and Kakuzu's threads shot out, tying them up.

"Oh plleeeaassee." El rolled her eyes, then changed appearance. Her hair, about down to the small of her back, turned silvery and her eyes a pink color. Basically, she became albino. Hidan's stolen scythe materialized into existence on her back, and she easily cut the threads before turning back to normal.

"What in dah fuck was that?!" Hidan screeched, obviously totally impressed and wanting to be her. At least, that's what El thought.

Jodie rolled her eyes. "Show off." she muttered, the black thread simply bursting into flames and burning off, leaving her completely unharmed.

"Well, if you get demon powers, I get to at least show off when I switch." El stuck her tongue out.

"Again, who the hell are you?" Pein growled.

"I'm El, and she's Jodie! Didn't you listen to our intro?" El asked, absentmindedly punching Hidan to shut him up.

"Pein- I mean uhh..LEADER-SAMA! And DEI-SENPAII!" Deidara winced as a certain lollipop bounced down the halls.

"TOOBBII!" El shrieked and Jodie glomped him next.

"What the-?"

"Alright, folks, tune in next time!" Jodie called.

"Jodie!" El hissed. "Talk to them in the A/N, not the story!"

"Right...erm...BYE!"

A/N: ahah, and there you have it! :D please review follow and FAAVVORIITTEE! :3

Jodie: Heh, sowwy, I forgot!

Erun: :3 IT'S OK! Lol, I only own myself, not Jodie, and not Naruto Shippuden.

BTW JODIE, I had u have demon powers after Ara and that other person in you fic because I felt that it would be...better and necessary.


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